In my quest to enjoy life, I try and embody many aspects of stoic philosophy. Over the last few years, I have been introduced to stoicism through the works of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Ryan Holiday. Reading these books I found many of the stoic principles resonated with me strongly.
A stoic principle I think about often is the Dichotomy of Control. The Dichotomy of Control is understanding what is and what is not within our control. This principle emphasizes focusing only on what you are able to control, and simply accepting the things which are not. The reality is there are things that upset us but which we can do nothing about, such as a delayed flight. It is not worth putting energy into being upset and no amount of wishing will make the plane arrive any sooner. Instead, we should focus on the things we can control, like using the extra time before the flight in a productive manner. This is easier said than done but when I do embody this principle I find I am more at peace and enjoy life more.
The beginning of the California chapter of my life has been slightly more tumultuous than anticipated, and I have found myself coming back to this stoic principle frequently. Shipping delays and unexpected situations have been frustrating, but out of my control. I have been telling myself to accept these things as they are and focus on what I can control, such as exploring the area and meeting new people.
I was feeling a bit down about a few things at the end of the week. However, on Friday I went to the San Francisco office for the first time for a work happy hour. It was fun to be in the city and I was able to meet new people. One of the guys had an extra ticket for a Kehlani concert that night and asked if I was interested. Even though I didn’t really know any of her music I thought it sounded fun and agreed to join.
The concert was in a big stadium and we arrived during the opener. It was quite dark and loud, so I pulled out my phone as a light to see the seat numbers. What I didn’t realize until halfway through the concert however was that my wallet fell out of my pocket when I pulled out my phone. When I realized this my initial reaction was a “woe is me” feeling. I had already been feeling a bit down and this was the icing on the cake. Thinking about how I was going to get a new license without being in Alberta started to stress me out.
Instead of continuing to freak out, I thought about the Dichotomy of Control. The wallet had been lost, which cannot be changed and it was not worth being upset over. I focused on what I could control: finding the wallet. I pulled out my flash flight and searched the area around me and the aisle we walked up. Not finding the wallet, I locked my cards so they couldn’t be used for purchases. At this point, there wasn’t anything else I could do until the concert was over. If someone had found it they wouldn’t take it to lost and found until the concert was done and I wasn’t going to walk through rows of people to look for it. Instead, I focused on enjoying the remainder of the concert. Even though I did not recognize the music it turned out to be a great show.
Once the concert was over and people began to leave, I started to search the row that we walked through to our seats. Amazingly, I found my wallet under one of the seats! As we were walking out I had the following conversation with one of the guys I was with:
Him: “I don’t know how you were able to keep your cool with your wallet lost, I would have been freaking out.”
Me: “Yeah, you just have to focus on what is in your control.”
Him: “I guess that is the attitude you have to have. You have to have a strong mind though to be able to do that”
This was a very validating moment for me. After focusing on having this mindset for the past few weeks, it seemed like a poetic way to reaffirm that I was on the right track and that everything would work out.
– Mitch
Quote of the Week
The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own . . . - Epictetus
Favorite Things of The Week
📺 Fergus Crawley Double Ironman
When you see people doing things like this it makes you want to challenge yourself more.
🧠 Calm App
Doing some of their guided meditations. I have done the same type of mediation off and on for the past few years and it has been nice to switch it up.
đź“—Â Catcher in the Rye
Haven’t read much fiction recently so wanted to pick one up. The style reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson and Charles Bukowski.