It’s been a while since I’ve written a post. My weekends have been filled with triathlon training, leaving me with little time or energy (mostly energy) to muse about blog posts. The process of musing requires the most energy. Once an idea is fleshed out in my head, putting it into words is straightforward.
I have not had the energy to sit down and think about what I want to share with the world, hence the lack of posts. However, I realized that I have actually been doing more musing now than ever, just a different type of musing. This type of musing occurs while pushing your physical body to uncomfortable places. This type of musing is what I call “running thoughts” (and also swimming and cycling thoughts, but “swimming cycling running thoughts” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it).
Running is something that many people do, and some people even do it together, but when you are running, it is just you and your thoughts. Running is often an uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful experience. The physical nature of running means you are more acutely aware of your body than usual. In this slightly masochistic experience that we willingly subject ourselves to, what do people think about?
I can only speak for myself, but I’ve noticed recurring thought patterns. I would assume that this is the same for others. We use certain phrases to motivate ourselves to push harder, and we play mental games to keep us moving forward. More interestingly, there are dark corners that our minds explore once things really start to hurt, once we enter the ‘pain cave’.
To explore these thoughts further, I am starting a series called “Running Thoughts” where I will delve into and share the thoughts I have while swimming, cycling, and running. I would like to do this for two reasons. First, I believe that exercise stimulates the mind, and I would like to spend more time exploring the thoughts I have while exercising. Personally, it will also be interesting to look back at what was going through my mind during this triathlon preparation. Secondly, I am curious about what other people think about while running and how it compares to my thoughts. One disclaimer is that I will not be sharing every running thought I have, or else people may start to become concerned about my sanity.
In the first installment of Running Thoughts, I would like to answer the question “why?” Why choose to sign up for a full-distance triathlon (3.8km swim, 190km bike, 42km run) and spend thousands of dollars to train 11-15 hours per week, only to subject yourself to a day of suffering? There are many answers to this question, but I would like to focus on three of my primary reasons for subjecting myself to such an experience.
1 Building confidence
Confidence is belief in yourself backed up by evidence; without evidence it is ego. Objectively an Ironman is a difficult experience that requires intense physical effort and discipline. Doing hard things builds confidence in myself as it provides evidence I am able to keep going even when the going gets tough.
Exercise is one of the easiest ways to push yourself, even when it is hard. In other areas of life, such as career or personal growth, it is more difficult to build this muscle. The timelines are longer, and it is less clear if you are actually pushing yourself when it is difficult. With exercise, things are very binary: Did you quit? Yes or no. Did you run faster than last time? Yes or no. One of the reasons I signed up for an Ironman is to build confidence in myself through exercise, which I then hope to translate to other areas of life.
2 It is scary
When I first heard of an Ironman, my first thought was, “Wow, that sounds scary.” Immediately, it seemed outside of my abilities, something only other people did. That meant I had to attempt it. I have this urge, one I am sure many other people also possess, that whenever something seems scary, I have to do it. The mental anguish of not doing it is greater than whatever distress the experience may cause. If a cliff appears daunting (within reason), I have to ski off of it. If a body of water looks cold, I have to jump in it. Knowing there’s a task within your capability, yet avoiding it due to fear, gnaws at you mentally. An Ironman is one such task.
3 Purpose
This is something I had not anticipated before signing up, but have come to appreciate. Training has given me a sense of purpose and a goal to work towards. I am able to push a bit harder during my workouts because there is a finish line I am trying to reach. It has also given me a purpose outside of training sessions. I am always thinking about making sure I am eating enough and getting proper nutrition. Going to bed early means that I will be able to recover more quickly for my upcoming sessions. Every day, I roll to reduce muscle soreness tomorrow. Many aspects of my day are centered around making it across the finish line.
It is nice to have a straightforward goal. Just as in other areas of life, goals are often not as clearly defined. What are my career goals? Will spending an evening reading AI papers help me in my career? Maybe, but it is harder to directly see the impact of doing so. With training every week, I can feel myself getting faster and able to go longer. It is very clear the impact each individual action has on making progress towards the goal.
All of these things are true as to why I have embarked on this journey, but quite simply, I just love the challenge. I love seeing how far I can push myself. I love looking at the stats after a workout and comparing them to the previous workout. I love the feeling of getting better.
That is why I run. In the next post, we will explore what I think about while running.
– Mitch
Quote of the Week
A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. - Steve Prefontaine